Sexuality at a young age is normally shaped by signs of attention, advances, kisses. You need to know how to say no. After all, you want true love, don’t you? When it’s there, sex is the ultimate joy. When it’s not there, it’s the satisfaction of physiological needs. Even more often than not, it’s not your own. I remember my friend again. She told me about one admirer, who very soon after the beginning of acquaintance said: “How much you can walk down the street? After all, one has normal physiological needs!” In response, my Natasha said: “You know what, honey? I don’t ever want to see you anywhere near me again with your needs!” She was a fairly confident girl and knew well the consequences of early sexual activity. Her self-esteem kept her from becoming an “object of satisfying eons of desire.” And how many girls lacked patience when they wanted to find out what it was all about! Or failed to wait for their true destiny, deceived by a quiet whisper: “You first. I love you. I’ll go to someone else if you don’t.”
Unintended consequences
I don’t want to intimidate you. I understand that nowadays acceleration, the desire to be “like everyone else,” sometimes even the desire to raise one’s status among peers and peers, leads to an earlier start of sexual relations. But let it happen later, closer to my twenties, when…
In recent years I often hear these stories: “I have long hesitated to write to you, but I just do not have anyone to pour my heart out. Recently I met a guy, he is so handsome. And rich. I immediately fell in love with him. I also liked him because he didn’t drag me to bed like others. One day he invited me to his birthday party. My parents weren’t there, we were having fun, and then everyone left, just me and a few of his friends. And then an irreparable thing happened – I was raped not only by him, but also by his friends. Soon I found out I was not only pregnant but also infected with AIDS. I’m 13 years old, my father and mother don’t know anything about what happened. What is going to happen to me now?”
“Strange girl,” you say. “Why did she stay? Did she think those guys were going to read her fairy tales from a book?” Yes, that’s right, you have to think and anticipate. Even a word can put a man in an ambiguous position. And if a girl stays in a situation like that, then the conclusion is drawn: she’s okay with it.
Sex Literature
Sex plays a very important role in most people’s lives. But at the same time, it is something they are much more willing and eager to read about than to engage in public discussion. Sex is in some ways the same as gardening or cooking. My point is that every skill has to be learned. There are a lot of books out there now. I will not retell them. I will simply name the most successful (since there are some unsuccessful ones, too).
The best and most accessible book is “The Art of Love” by Mitalina Wislotska. It talks about sexuality and sex calmly and simply, as a very natural and important aspect of human life and culture. As a mom, I love Jack and Barbara Wilkie’s book, The Miracle of Sex, It’s a kind of parenting guide to help answer many of the “growing up” questions Maurice Jaffe and Elizabeth Fenwick have written Sex in a Woman’s Life and Sex in a Man’s Life. These books will help to sort out your own feelings. The analysis of different situations is built on the principle of algorithm – different options are given, and everyone finds exactly what he needs.
The two volumes of Masters and Johnson’s book “On Love and Sex” cover everything from sexual fantasies to the structure of the genitals, from various forms of sexual behavior to advice on how to help victims of sexual abuse. Alex Comfort’s book “The Joy of Sex” is very popular in the world. It is somewhat unusual for us – it talks about unusual forms of sexual behavior as well, giving “some poignant recipes for our fresh life.” Although there are no pathological violent sexual behaviors in the book, it is better read at a more mature age.
Naturally, you don’t look for such books in the library. Even if they get there, they are immediately stolen. So, if you come across one at a private bookstore, you have to raise some money and buy it for yourself. Because ignorance about sex can do more than just harm your health. It can ruin your dreams and prospects.
Ask your question in comments and they will help you. We will always listen to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyVrAf6zeMA
